Why do we park in a driveway, yet drive in a parkway?
 Why are apartments joined together?
 Why is there an interstate highway in Hawaii?
 Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
 Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
 Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
 Why do you need a drivers licence to buy wine, when you can't drink and drive?
 Why are there door locks on 24hour convenience stores?
 Why is it when we send something in car, it's a shipment, but if by ship it's cargo?
 Why is it when we look for an address, we turn the car radio volume down?
 Why don't Jersey cows give chocolate milk?
 If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it's nose?
 If nothing sticks to Teflon, how'd they make the Teflon stick to the pan?
 If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them, what would happen?
 If an unstoppable object hit an immovable object, what would happen?
 What would happen if your car goes the speed of light and ya turn on the headlights?
 Why do parcels always come with stickers saying "This side up" never? 
 Does "FRAGILE" mean "this side up in French"?
 Why do they put Braille reading dots on drive-up menus?
 What would happen if we couldn't hypothisize?
 If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
 How do I set my lazer printer to stun?
 Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
 How come psychics don't know the winning lottery numbers?
 If you try to fail and succeed, what are you?
 Is Santa so jolly cuz he knows where the bad girls live?
 Before they had drawing boards, what did they go back to?
 How does the guy who snowplows the roads get to work?
 Why do I lay awake at nights thinking on how to get to sleep?
 Why do I lay awake at nights thinking these things in the first place?
 Why does the boss get upset i'm tired in the mornings from thinking all night?

More stuff:

Back up my hard drive?  How do I put it in reverse?
I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some don't have film.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the JuneFlower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be 
misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so 
popular?
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Dolphins find people amusing, but they don't want to talk to them.--

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