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Snappy One Liner Come Backs
- I can please only one person per day. Today is
not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a
perception problem.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the
stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
- I love deadlines. I especially like the
whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Me, getting smart with you? - How would you
know?
- I'm not a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one
finger near the escape key.
- I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
- You're slower than a herd of turtles
stampeding through peanut butter.
- I don't suffer from stress. I'm merely a
carrier.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain might
explode.
- Tell me what you need, and I'll explain how
you can get along without it.
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for
you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines.
- When you want to slow down and look back on
your life, while you're looking, don't plow into a parked car
Employer Reviews:
- Since my last report this employee has
reached rock bottom...and started to dig.
- Works well...under constant supervision and
cornered like a rat
- When she opens her mouth it's only to
change feet
- He sets low standards, then consistantly
fails toachieve them
- If you stand close to him, you can hear the
ocean
- This employee is depriving a village
somewhere of an idiot'
- He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves
the room
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge,
he only gargled.
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