Tom's Top 10 Out of Office Replies

1. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please ignore the blank stare and drool.

2. I’m thinking about what you’ve might have sent me. It probably was really deep and full of insight, however it never reached me.

3. I’ve run away to join a religious movement against people who keep sending emails when someone is out of office.

4 . Please be patient as your mail is deleted in the order it was received.

5. Your credit card has been charged $1.99 for my first responsive email and $5.99 for each one following because you haven’t clued in that I am still out of office.

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

8. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try reformatting your hard drive.

9. I am away at a power speaker’s conference on how to keep people in suspense. Please await my response...

10. I am out of the office doing a rocket science job interview. If I reply back you will know that I failed to get that position.
 

[ Comedy Central | Home Page ]