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Light Bulbs Anyone?
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Five. And you should have seen the light bulb. It must have been this big!
How many real men does it take to change a light bulb? None. Real men aren’t afraid of the dark. Besides, changing light bulbs is women's work
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But the light bulb has to really want to change.
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb, and one to not screw in the bulb.
How many Micro$oft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But why bother? The light socket will be obsolete in six months anyway.
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four more to chase off the
Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many gorrilas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light
bulb?
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many "Real Women" does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Generals/Politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many med students does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three:
One to write the light bulb removal program,
One to write the light bulb insertaion program, and
One to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure that nobody else tries to change the bulb at the same time.
A: Two: One to change the bulb and one not to change it.
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how
good the old light bulb was.
A: Only one, but it sure takes a truckload of light bulbs!
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb
installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
A: Three: One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to
dial one of their subordinates to actually change it.
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which
10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A ------
consists of sequences of non-blank characters seperated by blanks".
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
A: As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get
it done.
A: None. A "Real Woman" would have plenty of real men around to
do it.
A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb, and 1,000,000 to rebuild
civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
A: How many can you afford?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
A: Sorry, that item was cut from the budget!
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and the other to assume the ladder.
A: 45: One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
A: Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how
to do it.
